#goes without saying but fuck JKR

[crappe-my-dude]

I am facing some pretty severe writers block at the moment so I guess I'll post part of the first chapter of The Prank Fic™️ that I'm working on? It's a little bit of setup with Remus and Reggie so enjoy I guess?

——————————————————————————

“Merlin! I swear, if you don’t have an actual conversation with him about your feelings I’m going to lock you two in a cupboard just so I don’t have to deal with the tension anymore.”

Remus was startled out of his daydream by Regulus’ abrupt entrance as he dumped his books onto the table, always far more jumpy the day before a full with the regular head and body aches. Thankfully the library was relatively empty this afternoon, there being only a day of classes left before winter holidays and most students avoiding their homework over the break for the moment - something he was doubly grateful for at the present.

“Would you keep your voice down Black,” Remus felt the inevitable heat rising up the back of his neck, “What are you on about now anyway?”

“What I’m on about is your big fat crush on my brother that-“

“I don’t have a crush on Sirius.”

“-you keep insisting doesn’t exist.” Regulus didn’t allow himself to be interrupted, as usual. “If you’re not going to actually get together with him then you need to move on because it is becoming pitiful.”

“There’s nothing to move on from,” Remus insisted, attempting to shuffle the notes in front of him in a way that made it seem like he was focused on his work, “We’re friends. I know you’re fairly unfamiliar with the concept but people can be friends.”

“You’re not fooling anyone but yourself Lupin.” He started pulling out parchment and quills, clearly intending on starting some essay to end the conversation. “And apparently my idiot brother but that’s significantly easier to do. Can I still use your notes for the Runes essay?”

“Uhh yeah,” Remus rifled through his bag to find his Ancient Runes notebook, “I swear I put it in here when I left…”

Regulus only let him continue for a minute or so before letting out a very put upon sigh, “As I said - pitiful.” He stretched across the desk to snatch the notebook in question from directly in front of Remus.

As they settled into the comfortable silence they had seemed to cultivate over the months of studying together, a single thought continued to nag at the back of his brain. Looking over at the Slytherin across the table from him, Remus turned the thought over and over in his mind, seemingly incapable of letting it go.

“Even if…” He faltered, eyes darting back to the notes scattered before him, “Even if it was true, he doesn’t feel the same.”

Remus didn’t think much at first of the lack of response from Regulus, they frequently ignored each other's mutterings in favour of their own work. He actually found it easier to focus when there was someone else sitting across from him, making small sounds as they worked.

It was the lack of these small sounds though, that caused Remus to look up again and find the other man staring at him, wide eyed and unmoving. Regulus’ face was twisted in a way he had never seen before - as if he had just seen someone sprout a second head that was reciting the dates of the goblin uprisings in historical order.

“What? What’s wrong?”

“You’re not joking.” Regulus spoke slowly, drawing his words out like he wanted to make sure he was understood.

“What is there to joke about? We don’t like each other as anything more than friends.” Maybe if Remus repeated it more the sting would hurt less.

“Remus,” Regulus pushed his notes and parchment out of the way so he could place his elbows on the desk and lower his head to rub his temples, “I will concede that your friends are unnaturally close, but the relationship you have with Siri is anything but platonic.”

“No, we’re just-“

“If you say friends one more time I’ll slip veritaserum in your tea at breakfast. Do you really want that?” Regulus raised a sceptical brow, clearly calling Remus’ bluff.

Of course Remus didn’t think they were just friends - he certainly didn’t feel the same way about Peter, or James. The spark of lightning that erupted under his skin as their fingers brushed. The way hearing his name brought a smile to his face. The way his chest clenched and ached with the knowledge that Sirius did not feel these same things.

No, Remus was not under any illusions about his own feelings. They had been impossible to ignore for almost two years now, ever since Sirius had joined the quidditch team in fourth year. There were only so many justifications for Remus to suddenly take an interest in the sport after all.

“He doesn’t even like guys anyway.”

“Okay say that’s even the case,” Regulus waved a dismissive hand through the air, “my point still stands. If you’re not going to get together you need to move on.”

Remus felt his head throb as his eyes rolled back into his head. “Oh pray tell how do I do that?”

“You get drunk. You snog someone else. You make bad decisions.”

“Okay Black I know you find me irresistible but I’m not gonna snog you-“

“Not me dipshit!” A balled up piece of parchment flew directly at Remus’ head, striking him directly between the eyes. “I’m talking about a Ravenclaw party tonight, Panda’s helping organise it and it’s invite only.”

“And you’re inviting me?” Remus gasped dramatically, “I’m honoured truly-“

“Wanker.”

“But as fun as that sounds, I can’t tonight sorry.” He would have to leave soon, make his way down to the shack for the night. He still needed to swing past the dorms for a smoke. “In fact I should get going.”

“Ah right your furry problem,” Regulus mumbled, shifting back to his essay, “You can have the notes back after break.”

“Sure thing.”

[freakyvampirequeer]

autistic people will really latch onto anything relating to their special interest huh. when i was ten and my special interest was harry potter i would reread this unofficial harry potter cookbook literally every night. my ass was NOT making those recipes

[classicsandfantasy]

The older I get the more I despise the Harry Potter movies, and the damage that they have done on general perception of the characters and plot of the original series.

[wolfstarlibrarian]

Re-posting fics: How not to be an asshole

I know, kind of salty for a heading, sorry, but we got some stuff to talk about. (Also, sorry I haven't been around as much but my life has been WONDERFULLY full, so thank you to everyone who's checked in. ❤️)

I've gotten a few asks in my inbox and I don't want to embarrass anyone and I also don't want to inadvertently give any future scoundrels and any tips.

"I love this fic but the author took it down, so I'm going to repost it on AO3, and just mention that I'm not the author"

NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! *sprays you with water*

You have a copy of the fic. Kudos. But if they author wanted it on AO3 then IT WOULD BE ON AO3. Taking a fic not on A03 and putting it on A03 is a massive "fuck you!" to the author. The ultimate sign of disrespect to someone who put HOURS AND HOURS of work into their. FOR FREE. The LEAST we can do as fans is GIVE RESPECT.

Authors are not corporations. Authors are not sponsored. Authors are not "content creators". They are HOBBYISTS who are sharing their HOBBY with you.

Enjoy the fact that you have the fic.

If the author wanted it shared in ANY WAY they would put it back on A03.

Also I hate that I have to say this, but this same logic goes for Wattpad, Goodreads, Fanfiction.net, PDFs on reddit, and every site ever. Please stop.

"But no one is getting hurt"

Many authors took down work because they don't want their art mined by AI and you're putting it back up for AI.

Many authors took down their work as a rebellion against JKR and you're spitting in their face while they're trying to protest something.

Many authors took down their work because they're trying to pitch it as a book and they can't because agents and publishers search for the phrases and go "Well this exact story is already up for free and it's got gross, X-rated material I didn't see in my draft, so I'm definitely not giving them a book deal now". Congrats, now you'll never get a published and bound copy of your favorite fic.

Many authors took down their work because they are no longer proud of their work and they've grown as an artist and having the work up brings them daily shame, but you put it back up anyway.

Many authors took down their work for reasons that WE WILL NEVER KNOW and it's still our place to respect that.

Look, I support piracy. Corporations don't let us own anything anymore, so pirating isn't even stealing. But fanfic authors are not corporations. And you can't own a fic that isn't yours.

These authors have NOTHING but control over their work and you are stealing that. You are ruining their art, after they made it for you, for free.

If you love something, respect it.

I know you think you're helping fans by reposting a fic but I can't tel you how many authors I know that no longer post their fics BECAUSE THEY KNOW PEOPLE WILL STEAL THEM.

Reposting fanfics is killing fandom.

What do you do as a fan when you see reposted fanfics?

If you can, find and tell the author so they can take legal action.

Bully the author. Respond to every single comment on A03 and tell them exactly why the fic shouldn't be online, and why they shouldn't be supporting the non-author who published the fic without the author's consent

Go to the re-poster's social media and spread the word there. IDC anymore.

Talk about it with your friends and in servers. Every time you see someone asking for "PDFs of a fic" on tiktok go ape shit in the comments and get all your friends to help.

Okay, rant done. And remember, if you feel powerless, you will always have the power fanfic authors. You're part of this community. Your value and actions matter.

[vivziepopcriticalconfessions]

"I'm probably going to be cooked alive for this but some of y'all need to chill the fuck out in the crit community. As awful as Viv is, wishing death upon her and/or trying to armchair diagnose her with NPD ot lablelling her a narcissist is fucking awful to say the least. Not only are you not acting better like the stans you hate, you're actively engaging in hardcore ableism towards those with NPD and personality disorders in general. You're adding to the stigma that ppl with NPD/Narcissists are all (inherently) shitty people or shitty people because they're "narcissists". Trump has been labeled a narcissist, JKR has been labeled a narcissist, Viv has been labeled a narcissist. Do you not see a pattern here? There are a thousand other words to describe these people without resorting to this. The same goes for characters like Stolas or Stella. You cant be calling out Viv and her stans for awful behavior and then engage in it yourself.

- a tired anon with NPD"

Submitted by anonymous

[maxdibert]

Yes, James flipping Snape was wrong, but let’s not pretend Snape was some innocent victim who never did anything equally bad or worse. He was a Death Eater, and you don’t earn that title without doing some truly horrific things to prove your loyalty. The key difference? James grew the fuck up, while Snape didn’t. He chose that path as an adult to follow a cult full of racist terrorists that killed people for their blood status. His actions led to the death of his former best friend and his longtime nemesis. Then when his master was dead, he decided to switch gears and bully children who were much younger than him. Including Harry and Neville who both lost their parents because he couldn’t keep his mouth shut. If roles were reversed James never would have bullied children, especially Harry or Neville. But sure, let’s keep pretending Snape’s some poor, misunderstood hero. Snape absolutely takes the crown for the biggest scum.

You’re out here defending and sexualizing a racist terrorist who bullied children, if anyone needs therapy, it’s you. I honestly can’t imagine how you treat people who don’t look like you. But hey, at least you have something in common with JKR, you’re both racists who idolize Snape 👏🏼

You just:

Justified abuse.

Blamed a victim for not fitting into the role of the "perfect victim" and insinuated that if someone does bad things, defends themselves, or doesn’t sit in a corner crying, they don’t have the right to be a victim.

Justified the abuse by saying that long after it happened, the victim fell into a spiral of violence. Let me remind you that what James did happened before the Death Eaters. So, I don’t know what excuse you’re using here.

Blamed the victim again.

Pretended that an abuser stops being an abuser because they do good things. Like, if a guy rapes me but then goes off to help in a war, does he stop being a rapist? I don’t understand. Does the crime get erased? I’m asking.

When exactly does James Potter "grow up"? When he tells his girlfriend he’s stopped bullying, but it’s a lie? Or when he listens to his best friend and chooses the wrong Secret Keeper because they’re both racists who think the werewolf must be the spy? I’m asking.

Isn’t Snape the one who was only with the Death Eaters for about three years but then spent 18 years fighting against them in secret without asking for recognition in return? Like, I don’t understand why you’re going on about how he "signed up" and all that when literally his fundamental arc is about him spending years trying to atone for that mistake.

Blaming the victim again, I guess.

What are you even saying about his master? Severus went to Dumbledore long before Voldemort "died." It’s thanks to him that Lily was able to invoke the ancient magic. It was Dumbledore who forced him to work at Hogwarts. Did you smoke something for breakfast, or have you just not read the books? xD

Hmm, curious that you talk about racism when you’re the one defending a character who was canonically a white aristocratic kid who bullied and abused a working-class kid because of his physical appearance. Curious that you talk about mocking someone’s appearance when you’re defending James Potter, who mocked someone for their looks and their lack of money. Like, I don’t know what kind of world you live in, but your perception of reality is very distorted. Because the reality is that you’re defending a character who bullied and abused someone far beneath him in status just because they "existed," or because his friend was bored. It has nothing to do with the Death Eaters, nothing to do with who that victim would become in the future. James Potter did it because he could, because he was rich and the other was poor, because he had a name and the other didn’t, because he was obsessively infatuated with a girl and the other had the bad luck of being her friend, because he was a sadistic brat. Period.

You’re whitewashing abusers, just like Rowling, who whitewashes all kinds of toxic male behavior in her work. So go eat crap and keep licking the boots of cishet white male abusers somewhere else, will you? What a chore you are.

[ihatehomework]

yall i miss jily😭😭😭 not like its gone but like the marauders used to be so happy sunshine gryffindor vibes. but also i feel like we collectively all forget how much james potter HATED slytherin. idk i also think that yes death eaters were humans BUT they also killed so many people like are we forgetting that barty crouch jr literally tortured alice and frank longbottom he is at fault for neville growing up without his parents😭 i genuinely think that people forget that evan, barty etc. actually killed people and killed people who were probably friends with the marauders. ik that everyone deserves a second chance but seriously???? do you actually think that the rosiers were good people and didn't hate and discriminate against muggleborns??? NOT EVERYONE HAS A TRAGIC BACKSTORY IDK SOME OF THEM ARE JUST EVIL. the way everyone defends evan rosier (love his character but i have beef with the way he gets away with being a death eater later on) but snape, who i absolutely detest, hate and think should have died earlier, who also actually did something that was not evil in his lifetime, is the most hated marauders character like????? and the black sisters???? yes love a complex female character but are we seriously trying to redeem bellatrix? do we not remember WHAT SHE SCARED ON HERMIONE LIKE WHAT. and love the newer marauders fandom but everyones so emo and depressed this is supposed to be FUN. also the characters feel so ooc. everytime i see casanova remus lupin im like 'huh thats supposed to be sirius and james???' love remus but my boy aint rizzing anyone up hes a shy af introvert. and jegulus is so cute but remember that james is #no.1slytherinhater and he was absolutely smitten with lily evans FROM THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL. REMEMBER WHEN JILY WAS THE BACKBONE OF THE MARAUDERS? like they ate fr. this became a whole ass paragraph damn i did not know i had so much to say about this. i can lowkey already sniff the comments or thoughts saying 'oh let us have our fun its just a story' im not stopping you this is just my opinion. 'oh none of this is actually proven' please give me a break😭🙏 like most of the source material goes against the fandoms perception of the marauders. 'fuck jkr we'll do what we want' youve basically just made 10 million ocs and give them names of characters like im eating up all the marauders content but genuinely can we go back to the happier times??

[winters-on-the-wing]

u recently made a post about transphobis in the marauders fandom and I completely agree! Ppl say they're anti jkr and pro trans but only when its u skinny white pure baby being ftm and you poc "agressive" girl being mtf like??? There's a big difference between most ppl saying they don't see reg as mtf and them not seeing James and mtf. There's a bug difference when u say u don't see dorcas or mary as mtf and not seeing lily as mtf. Not seeing reg as trans is "trabsphobic all of a sudden" but not seeing James as trans is the "correct opinion" "reg just gives trans while James doesnt" u sound insane! Like poc people are not inherently masculine in any way shape or form. Poc people can choose to present themselves that way but no one especially not a white person can just say ohh nah you're too masc to be ftm or ur so masc u can't not be mtf! I know its just a stupid fandom "let ppl have their fun" or wtv but NO bcuz these ppl will never grow up! If they get away with these prejudices now they'll carry them on in life. Racists and even unintentional racists, terfs, misogynistic ppl, fascists, aro/acephobes and every other cunt in the field of bigotry deserve to be shamed* (with words not like bullied or hurt) and told that they shouldn't do that. Its so stupid that a fandom that cares so much abt removing themselves from jkr has members that act like they're jkr on secret alt accs

on god

couldn’t have said it better myself

it just pisses me off because they treat transness like an accessory or a weird, fucked up badge of honor. they use it as a way to “give oppression” to characters who are otherwise privileged in every way. to make the tiny little white boys seem more oppressed than they are.

and the effects of transness aren’t even explored past “i cut my hair and stopped wearing dresses and mama still calls me a girl 🥺”. it never goes past that. the trans guys never have a big chest. they’re always conveniently born without one. they’re always conveniently rail thin with no curves. they’re always WHITE and delicate and beautiful. they always adopt the aesthetic of “edgy little kiddo guy in big sweaters with bushy bangs” and there’s no other way to be trans in this fandom. just that. anything else gets hated on or ignored.

as a thin androgynous person with a small chest, i’m sick of seeing people like me get the spotlight endlessly when my struggle is completely different from the wider experience and there are some aspects of transness that i’ll NEVER understand and the fandom doesn’t care about them because they’re hard to romanticize.

can people please just stop romanticizing transness and acting like it only comes in one form? it’s not cute. it’s not progressive. it’s reductive and demeaning.

[abstractdiagram]

i fail to understand how you can support harry potter after all the things JKR has done to the trans community. watching it gives her money, writing fic about it keeps it relevant and makes more people interact with her content, which puts money in her pockets. that money goes directly into anti-trans laws. i hope you know that what you're doing still supports her and harms every trans person you know. there are no excuses, none

I don’t understand cancel culture. Too many creators in my life have turned out to be horrible people for me to delete their works from my life. Bill Cosby turned out to be scum, but that doesn’t change that when I was little we’d listen to his comedy albums for fun. I can’t delete that positive time for me just because he’s awful. Same for Neil Gaiman. That was devastating but I still read the books I have because they’re good, despite him being bad. JKR is an unmitigated twat but that doesn’t mean that my continuing to write for an existing audience is going to victimize anyone. I highly doubt anyone would specifically search for non-canonical m/m smut fiction for a fandom they’re not already familiar with but if I inadvertently cause someone to get into the HP fandom, I hope they get used copies of the books. I haven’t purchased an actual product or book or anything from the franchise in… over a decade and a half I think. I’ve had the books since most of their release dates and just kept them. I don’t like the movies so I don’t have them. My minor purchases over previous years hardly pay JKR squat and the fact that I haven’t purchased anything likely makes no difference in the bottom line. I don’t go to Hobby Lobby or Chick-fil-a either but they’re trucking along anyway.

I also don’t understand how someone which such a massive dislike for all things JKR and HP would just happen across my insignificant blog without specifically searching for the tags I used. If you don’t like it, don’t read it please. I give tabs and warnings for what I post.

I’m not angry about this note. I’m really not. I mean no sarcasm and no irritability on my part in writing this post. I do my best to support my beliefs and I love my trans cousin and his trans husband. I’m just making my way along like everyone else and if someone becomes problematic after their career affects me (Gaiman, Cosby, etc) then I stop buying new content and I don’t defend them. But I can’t and shouldn’t have to permanently erase all works, memories, items, references because they’re assholes. That money is spent, those memories are made and for the few shitty fanfics I’ve written, well those aren’t exactly raking in the new readers that don’t already know the IP.

If you truly believe that once a person reveals that they’re predators or anti-something that you believe in or alien drag queens from beyond the moon then you have to drop and hate everything they’ve ever created, well, please drop me. I’m not a rapist and I’m inclusive to pretty much anyone (except certain political/religious people. If you think someone should die just because they exist, fuck right off away from me). But I’m agnostic and have reasons to dislike organized religion (enough for some to cancel me right there) and I won’t give up things I already have or have done from now-toxic fandoms. I don’t protest or march or petition or walk for causes that I believe in 99% of the time (though that’s mostly because I’m at work at night and either don’t know it’s a thing until too late or I’m sleeping). Some would even say I’m a bad person. Shit, I was arrested twice as a young teen for shoplifting. I eat THC/CBD gummies for fun. I’ve been so blackout drunk in the past that I don’t remember whole nights. I swear, I lie, I hate most politicians. I’m not a great human!

TL;DR. Your opinion is yours. That’s fine. I have mine. We will never meet in the middle because we are diametrically opposed. I don’t want to waste our time arguing over something neither of us will change. Please don’t seek out tags that actively piss you off and I won’t post without tags.

[odufee]

Having been in the Marauders fandom since 2022, I still cannot fathom how Prongsfoot isn't the most popular ship😭 Might have something to do with the fact that I didn't get into it through reading/liking Wolfstar?? So going from reading the books as a child to discovering AO3, it just always seemed like any other ship would pale in comparison, because... 1. "Never seen one without the other" — I mean? 2. "It's been 14 years, and still not a day goes by that I don't miss your dad" — HELL-FUCKING-O???? 3. And the whole best-friends-to-lovers pipeline that would feel like the most organic thing ever, because even in Wolfstar and Jegulus fics, people already describe James and Sirius's relationship as though it transcends all labels and meaning the world bestows upon them. And then somehow I'm expected to be invested in the actual relationship the story is written about?

Like, sometimes I'm just minding my business, reading some Wolfstar, and like 4 chapters in and multiple Prongsfoot interactions later, I always wonder how the hell it's a Wolfstar fanfic and yet most scenes exploring Sirius's emotions and feelings involve James being the leading figure in comforting him, then they're described as "married-to-the-hip" and as "soulmates", sometimes going as far as to say that they have a bond no-one else from the friend group can replicate, and... Well, then there's also the factor where James is often-times written as a much healthier and better counterpart for Sirius than Remus 😭 No hate to Wolfstar, lots of lovely work in the fandom, but I do get whiplash occasionally, lmao. I always start wondering if a percentage of wolfstar-shippers are actually just closeted Prongsfoot truthers, who are in denial about their preferences because they've been fed the "historians say they were brothers/best friends and nothing more" line so much that their brains send automatic waves of disgust and recoil at the idea of them actually having the superior bond they were originally described possessing... Like JKR didn't even write Ginny/Harry and Ron/Hermione with this much obvious love, protectiveness, possessiveness and soulmatism 😭 Like, they ARE the main friends-to-lovers ship of canonical Harry Potter, let's be honest with ourselves here. Even with the existence of Lily, I'd still argue that they possess fruity vibes. Mfers were more attached to each other than their supposed partners. JKR doing this unintentionally makes it all the more funny too 💀 Anyway, all love to other ships I mentioned!! Just pointless ramble while I can't sleep, lmao. My Prongsfoot brainrot has hit its annual peak.

[romulusroyale]

Just read a post by a TERF calling trans people the "Death Eaters" of the queer community.

I know you terfs are incapable of detaching yourselves from fucking JK Rowling, but you don't need to grovel so much for a person who's brain is infested with mold. And you especially should not compare trans people to literal wizard Nazis. Trans rights are human rights.

Fuck Harry Potter. Fuck JKR. And it goes without saying that if you like JKR and/or any of her works, you can go fuck yourself. Get off my page. Terfs are not welcome. Especially not on pride month.

[vlada12r4322]

Nothing annoys me more than the characterization of the Hogwards Houses. Like, what do you mean all Griffindors are brave and reckless heroes, but Hermione , literally one of the main fucking characters in the series is NOT. No, don't come at me with, oh, she was really brave to always be on the go to help Harry in his adventures. That does not make bravery an exceptional quality in her. Hermione is smart, bravery is a quality she values, and not something she exceptionally has.

And I have this problem with almost every house, Slughorn is not an ambitions ,he values ambition, but he himself is probably the least ambitions Slytherin. Same with Draco, like, oh yes, he's cunning and sparky, but not exceptional. Slytherins are supposed to be ambitions cunning people who have a goal in life and will do anything to achieve it. That is the essence of Slytherin. But most of the characters we are given as Slytherins lack these major qualities.

Slughorn is too lazy and callous to be a Slytherin. Draco is snappy, but once he grows up, we can see his cunning turn into basic smartassness.

Severus Snape was a Slytherin. Ambitions, responsible, cunning, genius even. He always set goals for himself , and he was ready to do whatever it took to succeed. He was a very mentally strong person.

Narcissa Malfoy/Black was a fantastic Slytherin. She was so loyal to her family and blood that it developed into ambitions. Ambition to protect her loved ones to have the cunning to make your biggest weaknesses your strength that is Slytherin behavior.

Regulas Black was a scarcely mentioned but still a quite interesting Slytherin. He was ambitious to prove himself, a much better son, as Sirius mentions. Regulas was cunning and immediately climbed high enough to get the death eaters mark. He was the one to discover Voldemort's secret. Without anyone's help, that is how brilliant a Slytherin is supposed to be.

Cho chang ? Like first of all racist ass name. But wtf was with her and others bullying Luna. Ravenclaws are meant to be creative , critical thinking problem solvers, and one of the main characters is just a bad take on the mean girls. Luna is quite odd to be fair, but she's still a creative and problem solving soul.

Griffindors are almost all insufferable, in my opinion, and we have no idea what exactly qualifies a Griffindor. Bravery ? Honestly, it's just bad impulse control. Righteousness ? Maybe , almost every Griffindor is kind of a self-righteous person, some in a classist bigot way ( Yes, I'm talking about James Fucking Potter) , some in a more self assured and fair way . ( Harry Potter, no do not compare him to James, I'll punch you ) Hermione is much more of a good person, that tries to be brave, standing on her morals. Ron is brave. I'll give you that one only, Ron is a very good and brave character in the books. Ginny is a good deal brave, but then JKR ruined her character by making Ginny say she did it all to get Harry's male validation. ( Honestly, JRK should write another book, " How to ruin perfectly good characters, but not writing them correctly" )

Haufflepuff is a less represented one, so I'll basically sit out on this. Just my chill dudes , dorm next to the kitchen. ( they tickle the grapes to enter, like who the fuck thought that was a good idea ?? )

Cedric was basically a nice chill dude, helped Harry, was kind to Viktor krum, probably just a nice person to hang around with. Loved his girlfriend the most. Honestly, Cedric was a wonderful person. But can't define a whole group of people using him.

In the end, I like to think that the sorting hat really just thinks about which attributes the person values. But then again, Sirius was ambitions about proving his family wrong , so he should've been in Slytherin. But honestly, my best guess is that the sorting hat just goes, " Which house do you wanna be in ? Griffindor, cause you're bold with bad impulse control, and your new bestie is in Griffindor. There you go, GRIFFINDOR !

Your mind had been brought to be value purist ideologies, and they will probably kill you if you don't end up in Slytherin? Who am I to protest, SLYTHERIN!

You're creative and kinda weird, like puzzles. Yeah, there you go, RAVENCLAW !

Finally, a normal nice and chill kid, let's get you away from the drama and closer to the kitchen. HUFFLEPUFF !

[t1oui]

thinking about making a college au that may or may not be a texting fic and trying to make it as gay as possible bc fuck jkr so here are some headcanons (based off of what me from 2:15 am wrote in my notes)

james: they/them, nonbinary, panromantic asexual

sirius: he/him, bisexual (or gay, i haven't decided)

remus: he/they, trans, unlabeled

peter: he/him, trans, aromantic omnisexual

lily: she/her, intersex, demisexual lesbian

mary: she/her, bisexual

marlene: she/her, lesbian

regulus: he/him, trans, gay

dorcas: she/they, genderqueer, unlabeled

barty: he/they/it, boyflux, pansexual & hypersexual

evan: he/they, bigender, biromantic asexual

pandora: she/her, trans, pansexual

emmeline: she/her, grayromantic omnisexual

benjy: he/they, trans, bisexual

+ some other headcanons about them being queer together <3

sirius being VERY into labels and remus hating them with a passion and them learning to see each other's perspective

pandora and evan are mtf and ftnb (bigender) and they literally just switched names at like age 4. their parents didn't notice and only barty, reg, and dorcas know

remus helping evan feel less insecure about their top surgery scars :)

rem and dorcas bonding over being unlabeled

james helping dorcas figure out that she's genderqueer

emmeline and peter becoming friends after finding out that they're both arospec omnis

barty feeling really validated when people actually use it/its for it and the people who DO use all his pronouns being his favorite (no im not projecting lol what)

evan and james bond over being asexual (also lily)

benjy is the awkwardest bisexual to ever bi. i just think you should know. also he's adorable

pandora and lily date for about 2 seconds before they break up and pandora becomes lily's wingwoman in her quest to date mary

remus and benjy are both awkward asf so they go on one date and realize immediately they have negative chemistry and now they're best friends

pandora randomly adopts benjy and he just goes with it and carries her books around also they kiss

jegulus who have been dating this whole time (sirius somehow managed to realize they liked each other without noticing his crush on remus, truly something only he could do) and who are super subtle unless you're looking for clues that they're together

also bc this is a university au i'll say who's rooming with who: james & reg, sirius & peter, remus & benjy, mary & pandora, lily & marlene, dorcas & emmeline, evan & barty

(for the record james and reg sleep in separate beds because reg refuses to be woken up at "the asscrack of dawn" every day when james goes for their morning run)

remus, lily, and reg being besties

peter being in a qpr with evan & barty and having sex w barty (evan will literally sit on the bed next to them and read while they're going at it)

they start a queer club btw.

anyway that's all for now

[enthesea]

yea idfc at all anymore if u wear harry potter merch in public or have one of those ugly ass loungefly backpacks that r hp i will not treat u with any kind of respect.

theres no way u can play ignorant, or say that u can like hp without supporting jkr. ur literally still buying the merch. that money goes into her pockets. grow the fuck up

[greenerteacups]

If there was one major plot element that you could change in the original canon what would it be?

The Marauders' deaths. With the exception of James, I don't think any of the Marauders die in a way that's narratively suitable — or, to be more particular, they die in a way suitable for a narrative I don't like very much. James is an acceptable (though, obviously, tragic) death to me because it completes his arc: he's an obnoxious, arrogant bully who grows into a selfless soldier on the side of the light, and lays down his life as a final gesture of abnegation. It's not Proust, but it's good, right? His death represents a symbolic triumph over Voldemort because it's something Voldemort would never do.

None of the others make the same kind of sense for their subplots. Sirius dies at the Ministry because Harry fucks up and lets his abandonment issues override his judgment, and while that's a compelling moment for Harry — whose hamartia is a trauma-forged combination of hot-headedness and desperate fear of losing people — it's not for Sirius. Sirius's problem in Book 5 is that he's emotionally stunted by his years of imprisonment and refuses to grow up, because he's clinging to the life he thinks — rightly — he should have gotten to have. This is made painfully clear in the Department of Mysteries, wherein some of his last words to Harry are "Nice one, James!" He refuses to treat Harry like the child he is, and he keeps acting like he's this fun-uncle type, blowing off rules and pissing off Mom (Molly), because that's the dynamic he should have had with Harry if Lily and James had lived. Sirius doesn't want to be Harry's guardian and role model. He wants a brother and a nephew, and he's trying to force Harry to be both, because he's all he has left of that family. His death doesn't tie any of those threads; they're left dangling. That's a valid narrative move — every death cuts a story short, and you can't give everybody an arc — but I loved Sirius. Giving Harry the "grieving loss of a parent" arc that was originally meant for Ron (Arthur was the original Big Death of the OOTP, in JKR's drafts) also means that Ron spends a lot of Book 6 without anything to do, whereas Harry goes through what's essentially a more intense version of the grieving-and-recovery arc he did after Cedric's death.

Remus, on the other hand, is just — first off, a Mess, I agree with so few of the choices made with Remus in the later books, but let's say he's deep in the trauma, the grieving, and whatever living among werewolves as a spy does for your mental health. So he gets into this will-they-won't-they with Tonks, gets married, tries to abandon pregnant wife, then goes back and gets to be with his wife and son for about half a year before dying, with said wife, in battle. Okay. So like:

I think the Remus Weirdness in Book 7 is actually an attempt to close a plot hole, which is that the Horcrux Hunt happens completely without adult supervision, despite the fact that there are lots of adults the Golden Trio could and should ask for help. Harry's insistence that he doesn't want to risk anyone's life except for Ron and Hermione's is, while understandable as a character move, utterly ridiculous, because the other Order members are risking their lives anyway. One of the biggest holes is Remus and Tonks, who are (a) both already targets for Voldemort because of who they are, and so have nothing to lose, but also (b) both care for Harry on a personal level, and would never accept his reasons for pushing them away. So Teddy Lupin is conceived in order to bench Tonks, who's safely out of commission while pregnant. But that leaves Remus, who probably in fact would have super complicated torn-loyalty feelings about the situation, and who is scarred and traumatized and probably has enough abandonment issues to try and walk out, but — in my view — never resolves any of those things. He doesn't suddenly realize that he loves Tonks and wants to be with her, or feel a sense of duty to his son; when Harry's justly furious at Remus abandoning his kid in Harry's name, Remus gets pissy about it and goes "well, if you don't want my help, fine," and leaves. Which is, again, fine, a character flaw, it's childish, he's allowed to be, and he is, in fact, similar to Sirius and James — but it left a bad taste in my mouth, because that's one of the last conversations we get with Remus, and it's such an impoverished vision of his bonds with others. It doesn't delve deeply into why he loves Tonks or Harry, or the substance of his conflict between them; like always with the Marauders, he just invokes James, and Harry throws James's name right back at him, and it ends there.

And then he dies, so that baby Teddy Lupin can be an orphan, and we can do a parallel to baby Harry Potter. Even though we don't see Teddy Lupin on the page ever, so we have no idea what that comparison means, or how their experiences compliment or contrast one another, or literally anything more substantive than the series beginning and ending on the same event. Which: great. Okay. To quote a Roger Ebert review that I think about, on average, once every thirty-six hours:

"J.K. Rowling has learned from better novels that authors sometimes create narrative parallels, but she has not learned why."

[fandom-tornado]

Hey there, welcome to my new blog :)

To get things started, you can call me Tornado! I'm in a bunch of fandoms, and I decided to make a blog dedicated to incorrect quote memes for all of them. The fandoms I do are under the cut, 'cause there's a lot of them lol.

How This Blog Works:

These will all be original! I swear I'm not stealing any of them, and if you see one that looks familiar, it wasn't intentional.

I also may not post regularly, the genius comes and goes as it pleases.

Sending Asks!:

Just pop a message in my inbox with a character or several, preferably along with some sort of mini prompt or at least a vibe?? And I'll give you an incorrect quote :)

If you want me to do a ship let me know, otherwise it won't exclusively be a ship because I'm not telepathic and I don't want your quote to be about something you don't want.

I'll do most ships, as long as they're not problematic (like incest or pedophilia or something).

ALSO NO NSFW!! I'd like to keep this blog fun and minor-friendly, if you please :)

But yeah! I might reblog some really good quotes I see into this blog, but I don't think I'll do that very often.

I also made myself a little tag, it's #fandom tornado

Thanks for reading this far, and enjoy thyself :) If I screw something up just let me know and I'll fix it

Fandoms under the cut ✨ Wish me luck! If I delete this blog after 24 hours nobody come after me please I have no idea how this is going to work out

The fandoms I'll be doing!! This list will definitely change. If you send an ask with a fandom I don't do, I'll answer it saying something like "Hey, sorry, I don't know that fandom" just to clarify. So without further ado,

-Star Wars Original Trilogy, Prequels, and anyone up to season 6 of The Clone Wars ('cause that's only as far as I've gotten)

-Hamilton Musical

-Harry Potter (a little iffy, 'cause fuck jkr)

-The Hunger Games trilogy/Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes

-Master and Commander/Aubreyad (I'm only on Treason's Harbor, so it's more than likely I don't know all the characters yet)

-Lockwood and Co.

-Voltron: Legendary Defender

-Mystery of Aaravos/The Dragon Prince (I don't know what it's called, fight me or correct me I don't care. I also have not seen the most recent season)

-MCU (I haven't seen all the movies, so if it's a character I don't know, I'll just let you know)

-Avatar: The Last Airbender

-The Outsiders (The book and movie, I haven't seen the musical)

-The Hobbit/Lord of the Rings

-Pirates of the Caribbean (Not movies 4 and 5 pls)

-EPIC: The Musical